Meandering Mango

…Starbucks for this little beauty.

Seriously.  While I do think these “splash sticks” are especially cute, I don’t know if they’re really necessary.  Marc’s response, on the other hand, was, “It’s about time!” 

My nephew officially arrived on the scene this evening. I’ll post more tomorrow about the day, but here is a picture from shortly after his birth to tide folks over. The whole thing makes Marc and me extra excited about our own [quickly] impending visit from the stork!

Landon Christopher / 10-16-07 / 6:33PM / 7lb 13oz / 21.5″

Yes, I am aware that I’ve titled this post with the name of a early-90’s jam band. If you’re looking for them, go here. If not, read on, or feel free to read on even if you were looking for them…just know that I’m going to discuss an incident that involved an actual piece of string cheese.

As of late, Marc and I have taken to the Sunflower Market for our weekly grocery gathering. We were at first a little put off by the higher prices, but when I got a call from Marc one day that went something like this, I knew it was worth the extra pennies on a pound of apples.

Karen: Hello?

Marc: Hey, have you tried one of those apples yet?

Karen: Yeah…it was awesome.

Marc: I know! I started to eat it, and I was like, ‘Wait a minute…I haven’t eaten an apple that tasted like this since I was a kid.’ I mean, it actually tasted like…an apple.

From that day on, Sunflower Market became our Sunday afternoon grocery shopping ritual — although we do still go to Kroger for our milk and sugar cereals. When we started to really look at our bills, we noticed that it was really a wash between Sunflower and other chain stores like Kroger or Marsh. While some items cost more, others cost less or were at least comparable. And I felt a smidgen better knowing that our bananas weren’t fertilized with sewage sludge and didn’t undergo ionizing radiation — yes, those are two stipulations in the USDA’s “organic labeling” guidelines…so what are they doing to the “normal” produce? Anyhow, I digress.

One of my new favorite products are the Horizon Organic Mozzarella String Cheese Sticks. Now I realize that most people probably stopped eating string cheese when they were, say, eight years old. But I was looking for something to keep around as a quick snack, and these bad boys pack in 8 grams of protein per stick along with 20% of your DRA of calcium. And since I fill up so much more easily now that my baby belly is getting bigger, I often find myself digging for a snack at odd times. So on my way out the door a few weeks ago, I grabbed a couple of cheese sticks to take to work.

Let me explain that my office has one cool feature — we have an unlimited supply of bottled water and soda in our refrigerator. And as far as the free-for-all, that’s where it stops. Folks will bring in their lunches, leftovers, snacks, etc. and leave them in the fridge or the freezer. And since we’re all adults, no one bothers to put their name on their food. I mean, let’s face it, if you don’t remember opening your refrigerator door at home, grabbing a couple of organic cheese sticks, sticking them in your bag and then unloading them into the safe keeping of the butter tray at work, then you probably won’t eat them, right? Wrong. The first time I noticed the offense, I truthfully thought that they had perhaps been thrown out during the routine funk-removal from the work fridge. I would have understood that. The individual cheese packages don’t have an expiration date on them — although I can imagine that string cheese probably has the shelf life of a Twinkie — so I thought that the gals might have pitched them thinking that they were old. And I didn’t think much about it again until yesterday when I went back to the kitchen at work to grab a cheese stick snack towards the end of the day. In the thirty or so yards that comprised my stroll to the kitchen, I had really psyched myself up for this string cheese. I pulled open the door, looked into the butter tray, and nothing. Just two pieces of string cheese that were not mine…no cute little leaping cow on the label.

I was shocked, and my face must have shown it, because a co-worker was walking back that way just as I made my disturbing discovery. Dumbfounded, I glanced his way and said, “Somebody took my cheese stick.” Looking back on the situation, it was probably pretty amusing to hear a grown woman complain of such a school cafeteria-type violation, but he was very sympathetic and even offered me a Clif Bar from his desk. I graciously declined and informed him that I would just eat the banana I had at my desk.  At that point, I was still willing to believe that my first batch of cheese sticks were accidentally pitched and that my third cheese stick had just hastily been nabbed my someone who mistook their own non-leaping-cow-packaged cheese stick for mine.  On my way back, I stopped at a friend’s desk and asked if she happened to bring cheese sticks to work.  She said that she didn’t, so I explained why in the world I was asking about such a random food question.  When I finished my story, she said that my string cheese wasn’t the first item to fall prey to the phantom food snatcher.  Another friend from work had her frozen chicken fingers thieved from the freezer.  Who does that?

It turns out that there is another co-worker who brings string cheese, but when somebody mentioned the whole fiasco, she said that she knew my cheese had a little cow on it.  And I whole-heartedly believe her.  So who is the mystery food thief?  I guess only time will tell.  Maybe if we slipped a little Ex-lax into something really tempting.  Hmm…..now that’s a thought.

Yesterday, as Marc stood talking with a neighbor and the neighbor’s daughter, I think he half expected Bill Cosby to walk out and play host to the dialogue going on between them.  It turns out that our neighbors are getting married soon, and while Marc and I fully did not expect to be invited — we’ve only known them for the few months since they moved in — our neighbor’s daughter (she’s 6 years old) obviously had different thoughts on the matter.

Neighbor’s Daughter:   Oh, oh, oh!  (Tugging neighbor’s arm.)  Are Marc and Karen invited to the wedding?

Marc and Neighbor stand awkwardly, as adults do, trying to figure out the most PC/polite/diplomatic way to address her question.

Marc:  Oh, sweetie.  You see, we would love to be there, but we are actually going to be very, very busy next weekend.  (Kudos to Marc for his quick thinking.)  But remember that we will be there in spirit, and we’ll be thinking about you guys the whole day.

Neighbor’s Daughter seems to be okay with this.  Until…

Neighbor:  And, honey, remember that we’ve only invited about 25 people.

Neighbor’s Daughter:  No we didn’t!  We invited 100 people.  Because there are 100 gifts that we bought to give to all of the people we invited!

I know that my time is coming.  In a few years, I’m sure that I’ll be involved in plenty of those conversations where I look around to find the nearest rock to crawl under when little Bean says something completely off — and probably completely honest — to someone with whom we’re speaking.  I love it that children don’t always understand the nuances of adult conversations…most of all I love it because they haven’t learned yet to be ruled completely by the edit button that continually runs in most of our minds.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not advocating for children to freely blurt out rude or hurtful comments, but I think that sometimes we could all take a little cue from their truthfulness. 

Had you asked me seven years ago what I would be doing today, it probably wouldn’t have been this. Not that I know for sure what it would have been, but probably not this. And I mean that in the best of ways. Seven years ago, I was still working at a clothing store in the midst of deciding not to go to law school after already enrolling and processing my loans. I was going out for vodkas with pineapple juice until 2AM and sleeping until 10:00. I got a dog from the pound that destroyed my apartment and had to go back just three days later. It was a totally different life back then…but it was a passageway to my life today, and I’m thankful for that.

On New Year’s Eve of 2000, a friend asked me to join up with a group of folks going to Palomino to ring in the New Year. And fast forward through pretty much the entire evening, I remember getting ready to leave and seeing Marc trying to arrange travel for everyone to get to another party. As we were leaving the restaurant, I recall him asking if we had arrangements to get there. When we said, “Yes,” he said, “Are you sure? Because it’s dangerous out there.” I thought it was so cute and so thoughtful. And to this day, I remember very specific snippets of that evening…the evening I first met my husband. There was the moment I looked over to notice him playing the organ in the entryway of the hosts’ house. Or when we stood outside talking about Rumi the Sufi poet. We didn’t exchange numbers or make plans for seeing each other again, but somewhere deep within us the seed was planted that would eventually grow the amazing life we share together now.

As I reflect back on all of the tiny and gigantic pieces that have made up our lives together since that cold December 31st seven years ago, I can’t help but feel full. Full of hope, and joy, and love, and memories, and plans, and dreams….I could go on and on. Full in the same way you feel satisfied after a great meal, an afternoon spent with a long-time friend, or a day at the beach when your skin feels nice and warm and you can taste the salt-water dried on your lips. Full…and happy.

I never dreamed back then that I would feel the kind of love that we share or experience the joy that comes from spending each day with the one you’re meant to have found…the one your heart has known all along and only comes home to by chance encounter. But in a way I’m kind of glad. It’s nice to have a surprise that unfolds before my eyes without notions or expectations of how it is “supposed” to be. And when I think back over everything we’ve done so far — two apartments, a rental house, a stint with the in-laws, a new house, a cat, a dog, many travels, laughs and tears, a baby on the way, the eternal slumber party — I can’t help but marvel at how it’s all just the beginning of all of the wonderful things yet to be discovered about “us.”

As I meditate on “5,” I guess I just want to revel in the mystery and whimsy that has been our last five years together as husband and wife. So Happy Anniversary, Marc! Here’s to the last five and to an infinity of fives to come! I Love You!

“This is how I would die into the love I have for you
As pieces of cloud dissolve in sunlight.” — Rumi

Several months ago at work, a few of us got to talking about flowers that grow where you’re not expecting them.  If I recall correctly, one of the ladies told us about how she noticed that she had tulips or daffodils growing in patches where she never planted them.  So I chimed in about how, every year, I will without fail come home one day to a pretty pink flower growing near my fence.  For those of you who really know me…you know that I am no gardener.  In fact, I tell people that I have a “black thumb” — I’m a plant killer.  So it gives me great pleasure to come home once a summer to find that my pink floral friend has reemerged without my having to so much as lift a finger for her care.

The first summer that we noticed the flower, I was so shocked by its appearance in our yard that I went out to pick it up.  I thought that it was a fake flower that had somehow blown over the fence…I mean it literally showed up overnight.  But when I got outside, I noticed that it was indeed firmly planted in the crummy soil of our back yard.  “Bizarre,” I thought.  I definitely didn’t plant it (which is probably why it has survived more than one summer).  Yet every year, it comes up again.  When I explained to Troy what the flower looks like, he said, “Oh yeah, it’s a Surprise Lily.  Or sometimes they call them Naked Ladies.”  A quick Google Image search confirmed that, indeed, I had a Naked Lady in my back yard.  Ever since that day, I have just been dying to write a post with this title.

I was a little worried this year because it was nearly August, and I hadn’t seen the flower yet.  Then on Tuesday, like she had never gone away, there she was.  It wasn’t there in the morning, but as I left the garage to walk to the house after work, I noticed it in its full pink glory.  Giddy about being able to finally write my post, I grabbed the camera and headed out to document the arrival.  I lined up the shot, and then drats! — dead battery.  And of course we can’t find the charger anywhere.  Not to be foiled by a silly little battery, I forged ahead.  So here it is…the Naked Lady in my back yard.  Well, not really MY back yard but someone’s.

Okay…so it’s not really a “party.”  But I’ve been waiting so long to launch my new blog, and I decided that today is the day.  Hop on over to http://imabean.wordpress.com to check it out.  Hope you’ll enjoy!

Perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t really care to know about what is inside W’s colon.

My office is always cold…very cold.  So when lunchtime rolls around, I often try to take shelter outdoors where my body can start to thaw and feeling returns to my extremities.  Unfortunately, I also try to save a couple of bucks by packing my lunch, which usually equates to a Lean Cuisine frozen meal.  Gross…I know.  And seeing as how frozen meals don’t always transport well for, say, a lunch on Monument Circle, I’m usually forced to spend a few more minutes trapped in the igloo.  Today was no exception, so I scarfed down my lunch and took a walk over to the Circle to get some fresh air and relax for a moment.  I approached the Monument from the side and fully expected to round the corner to steps full of people — but it was empty.  I looked around for a minute to make sure that I hadn’t just made myself the main attraction in some sort of rally on the steps of the Monument (”Hell No We Won’t Go” or “Fair Hours, Fair Wages”), but no…I guess everyone else just decided to stay in for the day.  I called Marc, and we chatted for awhile as he tried to make his way through Broad Ripple traffic to buy a birthday cake for a co-worker.  Then I just sat — until I saw this!

I immediately grabbed my camera, because I had to share this spectacle with Troy.  You may have seen his post Icee Me last week?  Before today, I don’t think that I’ve ever noticed an Icee or a Slush Puppie truck.  But, alas, there it was.  I don’t dislike Slush Puppies as much as Troy…I guess I just wonder why they spell it with an “ie.”  Weird.

Secondly, I had to take a picture of these pigeons who decided to join me on the steps. 

The other day while we walked to Paradise Cafe, I noticed a pigeon that I thought had something caught on his foot.  As we walked back, I realized that in fact it was some sort of tag that had been attached to its foot intentionally.  Does anyone know what’s up with this?  I mean pigeon tracking?  Again…weird.

Finally, I stopped off at Starbucks to grab a treat — oh, okay…a tall Strawberries & Cream, no whip to be exact.  I know, it’s a weakness.  Anyway, the guy gave me my total, I handed him my card, then he asked if I wanted my receipt.  Thinking to myself that the total seemed a little high, I looked over the receipt and noticed that he had charged me for a Grande even though I had ordered a Tall.  And I know that he heard me say “tall” because that’s what he shouted out for the barista to make.  When I asked him about it, he said that if the cashier just presses the drink button and doesn’t specify a size, then the register automatically defaults to grande.  Hmm….conspiracy theorist?  Yes.  But it seems like an easy way for Starbucks to make an extra 50 or so cents per drink.  Maybe not…but I’m just sayin’.

I tried to provide a link to the “sermon” Marc wrote for Eric & Ujin’s wedding with my original NYC post. And while it seemed to work on Mozilla, I noticed that while using Internet Explorer, the link actually sent my computer into some crazy sort of death spiral, which resulted in my having to turn my computer off at the power button…twice. I removed the link promptly, but I do extend apologies to anyone whose machines also went into meltdown mode when you clicked the link! You know it’s pretty bad when CTR+ALT+DEL won’t even cut it. So here they are, Marc’s sweet words to Eric & Ujin — hopefully you’ll find them as touching as I did.

A friend of mine is known for often proclaiming a subtle truth: “Words are powerful.”

This friend would be prone to prescribe to this little saying, she is of course a poet of some international fame named Mari Evans. Mari, in her 8th decade of life, is deeply inspired by the way words move people. As a civil rights activist in the 60’s and a prolific contributor to the Black Arts Movement in this country, Mari has experienced, first hand, the turbulence, the magnitude, and the majesty of the role words play in our day to day life.

So, what does this mean for us today? This notion of words, their power, and the unifying love shared between the two of you and all of your friends and family? The simple fact is that the word “marriage,” which represents our celebration today, has moved through our existence as people and through humanity with sheer force and great power, giving rise to tremendous examination and criticism. The word “marriage” is paramount in terms of its powers; it conveys the summit of linguistic understandings. Perhaps the word “marriage” carries so much power because of its often controversial and disputable meanings. For us, today, I present a few ways in which we have come to understand the concept of marriage.

First, there is the daunting and catchy understanding of marriage conveyed through the analogy of the “Ball & Chain.” This popular and constructed likeness to the term does little to convey its essence. When referring to marriage as “the ol’ Ball & Chain,” people clearly express their lack of capacity to grasp other powerful words such as care, love, compassion, and forgiveness. As a friend to you both, I will forewarn that if you ever refer to “marriage” with this analogy, I will quickly direct you to old episodes of Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. The basic and elementary maxims about life through relationships conveyed in these “made for kids” T.V. programs substantially breaks the restrictions set forth in this limited definition of the term at bay.

Second, there is the concept of marriage as “Partnership.” This understanding of the word matches marriage with a sort of benevolent relationship between two entities: Bonnie & Clyde; Ben & Jerry; Siskel & Ebert; Hot Dogs & Ball Games. While a bit more affirming than the “Ball & Chain” reference, the notion of marriage as “partnership” can lean towards the absurd. I’m not saying that marriage does not contain elements of “partnership.” Rather it fails, again, to present a comprehensive description of the word and its power.

Lastly, there is the notion of marriage as a “union.” Driven by underpinnings of romance and self denial, union, as the essence of marriage, seems to get real close to the true understanding of the term. Getting warm, getting warmer, you’re real close, right? But, like in the game of “find the object,” using “union” to find the meaning of marriage will always get you “warm” but never “hot” – never there.

I present to you my own tried and tested definition – analogy if you will – of marriage. Ready? Marriage is an Eternal Slumber Party! I know, you’ve probably heard me say it before and you’ll hear me say it again – Marriage is an Eternal Slumber Party. And that, my friends, is real power! It might sound funny, but consider it for a moment. Marriage is a party, right? If has all the elements – fun, excitement, wonder, celebration, and the enjoyment of each other and each other’s preciousness. And, what’s a party without the exchange of gifts. Here’s where it really gets good; true marriage is a constant exchange of one another’s gifts and the mutual delight created through this exchange. It is a real party! Isn’t it? And the slumber part – well, I won’t go into that too much today…I mean your parents are here.

Seriously, though, marriage is one long sleep over. And that’s what I have to share with you…as a married man; the times when marriage is true and active in my life are the times when my marriage is a slumber party; which is always and will always be also for you both together.

Eric, you have a beautiful bride…seriously, man, a little out of your league. As your friend, I want you to know how proud I am of your life; I think I speak for us all in saying that you have always pushed your potential, followed your dreams – and achieved them! You have inspired us; you have taught us all many things; and most importantly, you have shown us all great love and care. Now your dreams include this beautiful young woman. And together you will continue to inspire, teach, and love everyone in your sphere. As husband and wife, you will harmoniously protect and uplift the absolute preciousness of our humanity. Eric, we all love you and share in your delight today.

Ujin, you have a tremendous man by your side today and forever. I have felt your dynamic spirit and colorful personality in the days leading up to this celebration. As your new friend, I want you to know that your very being is a tribute to the joy in our world. Your fantastic laugh, endearing smile, and altogether radiant zest for life makes us all better understand the tremendous value of living. Your complement to Eric’s life is so treasured, so powerful, and so encouraging. Ujin, we all love you and share in your delight today.

The two of you together are a testament to happiness…in fact, you generate happiness together in all of your surroundings. Your slumber party in life will produce great joy, abundant love, and true life. It is with great honor and handsome joy that I begin your vows of marriage, the most powerful word, today: right now.

Vows:

Do you (Eric/Ujin) knowing (Ujin’s/Eric’s) love for you and returning it, recognize (her/his) strengths and learning from them, recognizing your own strengths and always sharing them with (her/him), take (Ujin/Eric) to be your lawfully wedded (wife/husband)?

Exchange of Rings:

Place this ring on her/his finger, repeating after me. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Pronouncement:

And now, Eric & Ujin, seeking the fulfillment of love and marriage, acknowledging in front of friends and family their strong love for each other. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Eric, please kiss your bride!