Stephen Colbert’s Unknown Addiction

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an odd sleeper.  I talk, no make that have conversations in my sleep.  I often see people in our bedroom in the middle of the night (or wherever we happen to be sleeping—parents’ guest bedroom, hotels, etc.)—this has freaked Marc out more than once.  And I also have the most vivid dreams, which I typically can relay in full detail to Marc or whomever will listen.  In case you’re wondering, here are a few insights into how I dream:  (1) I do dream in color; (2) I have experienced dreams both as an observer of myself and my activities and as my actual person…like through my own eyes; (3) I incorporate conversations/observations from just before bedtime into my dreams; and (4) I absolutely have recurring themes in my dreams, mainly in the following forms:

  • Dirty bathrooms/toilets,
  • My teeth falling out,
  • Tornadoes, and
  • Large facilities with smaller, compartmentalized rooms or spaces (think Shopping Malls, Hotels, Dormitories, and Parking Garages) where I’m running around and trying to find something or someone, escape from someone, or find safety.  These particular facilities aren’t necessarily mazes in and of themselves, but they tend to end up feeling that way.

I also frequently transform into another person during my dreams and assign descriptions to people or places that don’t match their true identities in reality (for example…I often dream about being in my house, and in my dream I know that it’s my house, but it doesn’t really look the way my house does in real life).  Make sense?  Strange…I know.

So by now, you’re probably wondering what Stephen Colbert and his unknown addiction have to do with any of this at all.  Rest assured; I’m getting to it.  The dream I had last night was especially humorous, so I thought I would share it with all of you and invite a little dream interpretation input from the peanut gallery.  Besides, what else are you doing today?

Here goes…  I was in a mall shopping for a fancy party dress and ended up in a department store.  As is typical for my dreams…the store was sprawling, and I couldn’t find the exact department that I needed to be in to find and purchase said fancy dress.  Finally, I found several dresses and made my way to the fitting rooms to try them on.  When I got to the fitting room, I noticed that it was in disarray (much like the dirty restrooms that often pop up in my dreams), and I had trouble finding a tidy, open dressing room.  As I was waiting to try on the dresses, I suddenly transformed into Stephen Colbert, at which point I was actually Stephen Colbert and not just myself visualized into Stephen Colbert’s body.  Then, as I sat on the little stool in the entry to the fitting rooms, it became apparent to me that I, as Stephen Colbert, had a methamphetamine and Darvocet habit.   While I cannot speak to how meth is administered in real life, I can tell you that in my dream…you “used” the meth by inhaling the steam that came out of this smallish, green glass gadget that looked kind of like a votive candle holder.  When my turn came up to try on the party dresses, (yes, I was still trying on the dresses even though I was now a man), I handed the little holder to Amy Poehler who in my dream was actually Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) from Grey’s Anatomy.  I told her to just hold it and not to do anything with it, but once I was in the fitting room, I discovered that she had indeed ignored my plea and used the device.  So basically, my cover was blown, and the whole dream ended with Marc and a third person who was unidentifiable in my dream having an intervention in the actual fitting room stall and me curling up into a small ball while Marc held me and I admitted that I did, in fact, have a meth and Darvocet problem.

Where in the heck did THAT one come from?  Your guess is as good as mine…and your interpretations are both welcomed and appreciated!

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5 responses to “Stephen Colbert’s Unknown Addiction

  1. You are looking for something or some situation that is special and perfectly designed for you. This could be one thing. It could be many. You prefer to look for whatever it is on your own terms and in a way that makes you comfortable. You don’t want distractions and prefer order during the process, hence the search for a tidy dressing room.

    You are distracted by and feel a little guilty about your desire to feel good (meth) and be free of pain (Darvoset).

    Everyone in your dream is actually you. Amy Poehler represents your humorous, free side that you use to deal with pain and worry. Sometimes you are afraid that you will let that side of yourself get away with too much, so you try to keep it under wraps. Poehler is merged with Meredith Grey because there is a medical aspect to what you are dealing with. You morphed into Stephen Colbert because you identify with his way of telling and seeking the truth.

    Your humorous/medically conscious side, which is the most free to deal with life’s challenges, will not be suppressed no matter how hard you try and will go ahead and deal with pain and make efforts to feel good. The “intervention” happened because you perceive your desires as a weakness or something that could be dangerous to you. Marc represents a core part of you that loves you unconditionally and protects you from harm and is free of judgment.

    I think the unidentifiable person represents the future you, the part of yourself that you are still getting to know and that is learning new ways to deal with the search for something special and beautiful.

    I could be wrong about all of this.

  2. Okay, so like, Daddy says I can drive and all…
    I don’t know what’s goin’ on but I can so see it because you write so well.

  3. It sounds like Troy has the right idea – he’s good! My brother in law loves to interpret dreams – maybe I should send this to him as I’m completely useless when it comes to figuring out dreams.

    I’m also glad to know that I’m not the only one that has the teeth dream!

  4. uh…i concurr with Troy…or am too confused by this entry to REALLY comment. 🙂

  5. Seriously…..

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