Had you asked me seven years ago what I would be doing today, it probably wouldn’t have been this. Not that I know for sure what it would have been, but probably not this. And I mean that in the best of ways. Seven years ago, I was still working at a clothing store in the midst of deciding not to go to law school after already enrolling and processing my loans. I was going out for vodkas with pineapple juice until 2AM and sleeping until 10:00. I got a dog from the pound that destroyed my apartment and had to go back just three days later. It was a totally different life back then…but it was a passageway to my life today, and I’m thankful for that.
On New Year’s Eve of 2000, a friend asked me to join up with a group of folks going to Palomino to ring in the New Year. And fast forward through pretty much the entire evening, I remember getting ready to leave and seeing Marc trying to arrange travel for everyone to get to another party. As we were leaving the restaurant, I recall him asking if we had arrangements to get there. When we said, “Yes,” he said, “Are you sure? Because it’s dangerous out there.” I thought it was so cute and so thoughtful. And to this day, I remember very specific snippets of that evening…the evening I first met my husband. There was the moment I looked over to notice him playing the organ in the entryway of the hosts’ house. Or when we stood outside talking about Rumi the Sufi poet. We didn’t exchange numbers or make plans for seeing each other again, but somewhere deep within us the seed was planted that would eventually grow the amazing life we share together now.
As I reflect back on all of the tiny and gigantic pieces that have made up our lives together since that cold December 31st seven years ago, I can’t help but feel full. Full of hope, and joy, and love, and memories, and plans, and dreams….I could go on and on. Full in the same way you feel satisfied after a great meal, an afternoon spent with a long-time friend, or a day at the beach when your skin feels nice and warm and you can taste the salt-water dried on your lips. Full…and happy.
I never dreamed back then that I would feel the kind of love that we share or experience the joy that comes from spending each day with the one you’re meant to have found…the one your heart has known all along and only comes home to by chance encounter. But in a way I’m kind of glad. It’s nice to have a surprise that unfolds before my eyes without notions or expectations of how it is “supposed” to be. And when I think back over everything we’ve done so far — two apartments, a rental house, a stint with the in-laws, a new house, a cat, a dog, many travels, laughs and tears, a baby on the way, the eternal slumber party — I can’t help but marvel at how it’s all just the beginning of all of the wonderful things yet to be discovered about “us.”
As I meditate on “5,” I guess I just want to revel in the mystery and whimsy that has been our last five years together as husband and wife. So Happy Anniversary, Marc! Here’s to the last five and to an infinity of fives to come! I Love You!
“This is how I would die into the love I have for you
As pieces of cloud dissolve in sunlight.” — Rumi